FishTheNuke Funny Status Messages

   It was just yesterday where it was a requirement to say grace before every meal... Now the only importance before a meal is making sure you get glamour shot for instagram.

   "North Korea... I promise you boo boo, we will smack the sh*t out you" - Kevin Hart voice

   I go to subway to eat healthy, but for whatever reason, I end up making a sub that would fill up a family.

   Being skinny with abs is like being fat with big boobs... doesn't count.

   How to find out if a girl is a slut in 2 steps. Step 1. Call her a slut. Step 2. Wait for her reply (If she jokes back...not a slut. If she gets pissed... then you found yourself a skeezer.

   Dear Zach, the Facebook app has down syndrome. Use some of your never ending money to fix it you selfish prick.

   "Thank you for calling Dell Customer Support. How may I help you?" "Transfer me to an American or I am switching to Macs."