FishTheNuke Funny Status Messages

   It was just yesterday where it was a requirement to say grace before every meal... Now the only importance before a meal is making sure you get glamour shot for instagram.

   I go to subway to eat healthy, but for whatever reason, I end up making a sub that would fill up a family.

   "Thank you for calling Dell Customer Support. How may I help you?" "Transfer me to an American or I am switching to Macs."

   How to find out if a girl is a slut in 2 steps. Step 1. Call her a slut. Step 2. Wait for her reply (If she jokes back...not a slut. If she gets pissed... then you found yourself a skeezer.

   Being skinny with abs is like being fat with big boobs... doesn't count.

   Dear Zach, the Facebook app has down syndrome. Use some of your never ending money to fix it you selfish prick.

   "North Korea... I promise you boo boo, we will smack the sh*t out you" - Kevin Hart voice