Fel Funny Status Messages

   Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the begging, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you're wishing you had a club and a spade.

   Apple's new major social breakthrough - a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost between $499 - $799, depending on cup size and speakers. Nore more complaints about how he just stares at your chest and doesn't listen!

   Looks like Jay-Z finally found that 100th problem.

   My wife just asked me "would you say I'm a selfish person?" My answer - "well, not to your face..."

   ate Oriental flavored Ramen for lunch today, and it tasted nothing like an Asian

   My resolution -- Is to finally beat my == Haiku addiction.

   What is a horse shoe? What does a horse shoe do? Are there any horse socks? Is anybody listening to me?

   Obama gets a Nobel prize after sending 30k more troops. Stay tuned, next week Tiger Woods wins husband of the year.

   Order a pizza from Papa Johns today NATIONWIDE-- they are making a donation to the families of the four fallen police officers in Lakewood (WA) - all pizzas sold on Tuesday, Dec. 8 and Wednesday, Dec. 9. ALL proceeds to a trust for their nine children