Eric Funny Status Messages

   If North Korea attacks, there won't be a war. The counterattack will go down in history as a case of assisted suicide.

   Thank god for smartphones I was getting tired or reading the back of shampoo bottles while in the bathroom

   Ever notice how banks and credit cards want you to go paperless to save a tree? Since I need those documents for my records I have to print them at home. So I'm using my paper instead of theirs. No trees are saved and I get screwed. Yay!

   I wonder if the lamestream media has anything better to do today than follow around the crazy lady on the bus or worry about pics of congressmen in their underwear? Focus people! There's real news happening all over the world!

   that akward moment when she pulls out one bigger than yours

   While I'm Gone....Just smile it's the 2nd Best thing you can do with your Lips....

   Favorite Animal is Grey Goose

   got excited when he had a "Group Request" in Facebook. Sadly though, it wasn't even close to the type of "groups" he had dreams about ..

   how can I miss you if you won't go away?

   now officaly talking to Himself but somehow I hear a busy signal in my ears. I wonder if I can get Call Waiting????? Wait.... maybe it's better I don't answer myself...