Dani Funny Status Messages

   Don't make me take my bra off.... Because without it.... you will see I have bigger balls than any guy out there!

   i went and refilled my prescription for my antidepressants... Because Happy Meals just don't seem to work for me!

   Lesson learned.... Don't walk into a car dealership's service department and say 'I was told I need two shots of lube in my rear end'.... Awkward!!!

   Yeah... I may be old... But I'm still hot..... They just come in flashes now!

   I'm thinking of going on an alcohol diet.... As I need to lose a few days!

   Ladies... When they say it's all downhill after 40... Just know.... They're talking about gravity!

   My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash... and it is gone!

   Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you!

   What do you call sex on a Greyhound bus? The 3 foot high club!

   Grandma learned that 50 Shades of Grey... was not a book about hair colour!