Chris Funny Status Messages

   That cat had more yards the. Jason Witten 🤪❤️

   Next person that talks politics with me I'm kicking in the crotch. I don't care if they elect a pineapple into office. It's all one big game anyway.

   The closest I am to having any "Swag" is the Old Spice Swagger deodorant, sitting in my bathroom cabinet.

   I'm still not entirely sure what instagram is

   Anyone wonder why Internet explorer 9 has commercials? When it comes with every computer anyway, and its free to download?

   Loves getting the mail at 3:30 in the afternoon. If my postman were any lazier I'd say he was Puerto Rican

   If cars really exploded as easily as they do in movie's, I wouldn't have made it hope from the delivery room.

   It should be against the rules to post anything depressing on Facebook. Shout out to a deceased relative, ok. But no one cares if your goldfish is sick and you hate your life. I dont even care if my goldfish is sick.

   I live life on the edge, when I go grocery shopping I place all my eggs in the same basket! Thats just how I roll.

   ok its almost March....all the people that joined my gym in January for their new years resolution can stop now, I'm tired of waiting to use machines