Baddie Funny Status Messages

   You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked.

   Live such that when the mortician prepares you for your funeral, he must struggle to get that grin off your face.

   A stranger at Walmart just coughed in my face, so I've probably only got two, maybe three, days to live.

   almost annoyed by the fact that Pablo Escobar spent most of his life tucking in his shirt but he’s only remembered for selling drugs.

   The microwave sent those nudes, not me.

   Given the exploding population of idiots in our communities, I think it’s about time we required people to pass a test first before they are allowed to vote. We can’t afford to put our destiny in the hands of clueless idiots.

   Christmas; Another day of choreographed kindness and fake concern.

   I like this mannequin challenge. It gets idiots to shut the hell up for a minute.

   How much of your pants are you allowed to fold up before you're mistaken for a fisherman?

   Instead of voter fraud, why don't they just call it Electile Dysfunction?