AnnaMariaPastafazoola Funny Status Messages

   Let's practice for the future: I'll trade you 2 rolls of toilet paper for a cup of sugar, a cup of flour and we switch places in this ridiculously long line.

   I believe in doing things in a definitive manner. That being said, in the unlikely event I decide to do any looting, I'm going to loot a lute.

   I can think of no worse slam than to tell someone that they're a Jerry Springer Show gone bad.

   Girls..You know that "amazing" man in your life? News flash...he's fooling you and you're just eating it up.

   The only thing I don't like about fat is that it doesn't have any sugar in it.

   Q: Why are single women skinnier than married women? A: Single women go to the fridge, see nothing nice and then go to bed. Married women go to bed, see nothing nice and then go to the fridge.

   Sometimes I call Domino's Pizza and order a pie. I ask them to repeat the order, then I say, "Okay, that'll be $10.99...please pull up to the first window."