82 Funny Status Messages

   you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up

   Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.

   I've always wondered what would happen if I deleted my recycle bin...

   I can't help but wonder how police handcuff people with one arm?

   Dude! That cross-eyed girl at the bar is looking at you...... And me...

   I dont do jokes about the Spanish....... no way Jose!