82 Funny Status Messages

   Dude! That cross-eyed girl at the bar is looking at you...... And me...

   I've always wondered what would happen if I deleted my recycle bin...

   you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up

   I dont do jokes about the Spanish....... no way Jose!

   I can't help but wonder how police handcuff people with one arm?

   Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.