father OR dad Funny Status Messages

   Instagram. The wonderful world of women with daddy issues and father figure complexes.

   Her: I have a child that needs a father figure. Him: I wear socks with sandals. Her: wow, you’re daddy af.

   My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge raclst, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was bIack - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

   I can still remember the words my father said to me on my wedding night “let’s hope this ones not a whore like the last one!”

   My adopted highway called the Department of Transportation to find his real father.

   Happy Father's Day to all ads.... Except to those who can't drive a manual. Happy Mother's Day!

   A School held a contest for 6th grade kids. the theme of the contest was, 'The Nicest Thing My Father Did For Me'.... The Winning kid said, "not wearing a condom...

   I'm not sure who needs to hear this but Walmart sells Father's Day cards in packs of five.

   All I’m saying is what kind of father would encourage a wayward son to carry on?

   $1400.00 per child? Hold up Maury, I just might be the father after all.