BEGO Funny Status Messages

   They say a picture is worth a thousand words... have they ever noticed that a middle finger is worth a million?

   I want to deactivate my FB account, but I know I would be proud of myself and want to announce it to everyone… on Facebook.

   Walking into your room and saying “Damn, I need to clean this…” then walking out.

   I'm thankful for Facebook. Before, I would just scream out my thoughts to anyone who would damn listen.

   Fine don't text me back then. It's not like I'm obsessively checking my damn phone or anything.

   U know that Happiness is a cop car turning his lights on behind you and immediately going past you.

   Teenage girls: stop making the duck face in all your photos. I don't know who told you it was attractive cause it isn't. You look quite stupid and immature, not to mention ugly. Mostly stupid. Real stupid.

   I hate it when Facebook doesn't trust me while sending friend request.

   It doesn't matter how old you are, if a balloon is about to hit the floor, you dive for that s**t!

   Black Friday...the day when normal people turn into zombies armed with shopping carts.

   The turkey that President Obama will pardon this Thanksgiving is from California. The turkey said, “I don't need a pardon. I need a job.

   Turkeys don't think Thanksgiving is very funny.

   If you didn't want to sit at the kids' table then you shouldn't have seen the new Twilight movie.

   R.I.P To everyone who didn't make it to this Thanksgiving, I hope their families will be strong & have fun for them.

   Man are like BLUETOOTH, he is connected to you when you are nearby, but searches for other devices when you are away. And women are like WI-FI, she sees all available devices but connects to the strongest one.

   Dear Vegetarians, you're not doing us any favors, all your doing is eating our food supply. Sincerely, Starving Animals.

   Facebook needs a “remove from existence” button. That way I don't have to see their posts on mutual friends' walls, and I can just forget that they even exist

   LIKE if you reply ”LMFAO” ”ROFL” “LOL” and you're clearly just sitting there emotionless as a robot.

   Facebook needs these 3 buttons: “Dislike”, “Who cares”, “Are you an idiot?”

   If Facebook ever shut down, you'd see people aimlessly walking round streets, scribbling on walls, poking each other, searching for their friends, thumbs-upping and commenting at everything they see and damn tagging one another.