Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 971 of 6383
I hope Mexico doesn't raise the cost of Tequila and Produce to pay for this wall.
If Trump is AIDS in human form, then Obama is the a$$hole he got it from.
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01-26-2017 11:34 by Mickey
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“Catch me outside, how about that?
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01-26-2017 11:19 by JCGJ
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Nice try MacDonalds, trying to give away you're secret sauce, I've already have a bottle of thousand island dressing in the refrigerator
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01-26-2017 11:15
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It is times like this that make me laugh at people from the south.Hurricanes & tornados, people still go to work, Snow, deserted streets and empty grocery stores.
I think when Trump says Mexico will pay for that wall he doesn't mean the Government but El Chapo's seized 14bn assets from criminal forfeiture.
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01-26-2017 11:12 by CrackY
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It's usually the ones with the dirtiest hands pointing the fingers.
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01-26-2017 11:08
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I lost my virginity when I was 15. It was smokin' hot until I bit her thigh and all the air leaked out.
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01-26-2017 10:51 by Mickey
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If I were an actual snowflake, ie the feathery ice crystal with a sixfold symmetry, I'd be highly insulted.
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01-26-2017 08:05 by Mickey
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Mexico is paying for the wall in the form of tarriffs on goods imported from there.
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01-26-2017 07:07
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What do you get a girl who has everything ? Penicillin
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01-25-2017 18:48
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if I had a nickel for everytime someone told me I'm bad at math,id have 47 cents
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01-25-2017 16:34
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The drummer for the Allman Brothers band has passed away. That means only three more drummers, four more guitar players, and a doped up keyboard player to go.
If your phone is autocorrecting kindergarten to Kardashian, the world is not wrong, it's your search habits.
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01-25-2017 10:23
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I'm in a book store and a liberal clerk helped me. I asked for the new Trump book on his immigration policy. She said, "F-you! Get out and stay out! I go, "Yes, that's it, do you have it in paperback?"
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01-25-2017 10:08 by Mickey
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My new phone just autocorrected kindergarten to Kardashian. That my dear people, is exactly what is wrong with this world.
I don't get why all these people are saying "Not My Precedent!" Do they share a shameful past?
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01-24-2017 20:49
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So...if all Cinderalla's clothes turned back to rags at midnight, how did that one slipper stay glass? Maybe she should have ripped off all her clothes instead.
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01-24-2017 20:24
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Why do motorcyclists point at the road when they pass each other? Is it a reminder?
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01-24-2017 20:20
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there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?
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01-24-2017 19:22 by markf
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