Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you!
←Rate | 04-28-2017 07:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If relationship breakups never existed, the music industry would go Bankrupt !
←Rate | 04-28-2017 05:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here's a list of nine bands Stevie Wonder has seen and One that's fake..see if you can guess. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.Blind Melon 9. 10.
←Rate | 04-28-2017 02:51 Comments (18)  


   messageicon At this point in my life the only reason I want to be rich is to hire somebody to clean my house.
←Rate | 04-28-2017 00:35 by Paul Medrano Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Wow, Windows Troubleshooter totally solved the problem!" said no one ever.
←Rate | 04-27-2017 23:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 100 Days in. Only 6.8% of the way to another President! Yay!
←Rate | 04-27-2017 14:03 Comments (7)  


   messageicon If a zoologist studies animals what do you call someone who studies zoos? ZOOLOGIST: if you come down off the giraffe I'll answer your questions
←Rate | 04-27-2017 12:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Daddy, can you run for President and get rid of the estate tax so that I inherit an extra billion dollars?"
←Rate | 04-27-2017 12:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon FB friends, no one gives a ratsass what concerts you went to...
←Rate | 04-27-2017 12:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Except for imitation grape soda; real grapes have never quite gotten over that one..
←Rate | 04-27-2017 11:12 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon As soon as the Zombie Apocalypse hits I'm grabbing a sledgehammer and heading down to the local cemetery for the greatest game of Whack-A-Mole ever.
←Rate | 04-27-2017 09:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them......the police call it indecent exposure but whatever.
←Rate | 04-27-2017 09:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Offering a homeless dude $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.
←Rate | 04-27-2017 09:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Darth Vader could fall asleep in Imperial meetings and nobody would notice.
←Rate | 04-27-2017 07:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Log off Facebook and go to church if you want to pray. Facebook was exclusively invented for spying and stalking
←Rate | 04-27-2017 05:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope instagram is still around in 10 years so I can show my kids what my food looked like in 2013
←Rate | 04-27-2017 05:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you are on a first date and she says to you: "I want you to treat me like a movie star," it is vitally important to establish which type of movie
←Rate | 04-27-2017 05:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon dont fart in an apple store, they dont have windows
←Rate | 04-27-2017 02:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump said he would get rid of NAFTA in his 100 days in office. Now he says he's not going to scrap it afterall. Does this guy actually knows what he's doing???
←Rate | 04-26-2017 23:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You are catching up to the cool people, Happy Birthday!
←Rate | 04-26-2017 17:41 Comments (0)  




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