BEGO Funny Status Messages

   The more I hear about other people's relationship drama, the happier I am that I'm single. :

   Just remember, while you're lying to, disrespecting and making your girl cry, there's a man out there waiting to hold her, dry her tears and treat her right...

   Today, my mother commented "loser" on my Facebook profile picture. She got 41 likes.

   Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister and me.

   Investigate your friends before they investigate you, because some of them work with your enemy's..

   I hate long distance relationships , the fridge is so far from my bed

   Make a wish, and only you know it. Make a mistake, and everyone knows it.

   No, I'm not single. I am in a long distance relationship because my girlfriend lives in the future.

   Giving your friend “the look” when you see someone attractive.

   When I die, I'd like someone to keep updating my Facebook status just to freak people out… “hey, who knew they had wi-fi up here?”

   Dont be suprised if a big fat man comes down your chimney and puts you in a black sack.. I told him I want you for Christmas.

   New year resolution- nothing better to start the year than by making more rules to break over the year.

   Dear Girls, when a boy pauses his video game to text you.. Marry him.

   Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.

   It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper

   Some people are like fast food…they never look as good in real life as they do on TV.

   The Best Things in life are unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we KISS, CRY, and DREAM.

   Dear Real Life, why don't you have background music?

   Everything is so much funnier when you're not allowed to laugh

   Reading your best friend's status and thinking, "Ha! I know exactly who that's about!"