bego Funny Status Messages

   Phones get thinner and smarter, and people?! We get fatter and stupid.

   doing something weird and thinking, this is why I'm not in a relationship.

   I'm pretty sure the best thing about Facebook is the ability to read other people's fights.

   Don't feel to high & mighty about yourself sweetheart, cause at the end of the day, your still like a penny ` two faced & worthless.

   Nothing like sitting back and watching the people who stabbed you in the back fall apart.

   HOW can dogs sniff out bombs, save a guy from drowning, keep you from walking into traffic, but CANT figure out how to UNWRAP themselves from around a tree!

   Most relationships fail not because the absence of love, but because girls love to much and guys love to many.

   Good girls get presents at Christmas. Bad girls get presents all year long.

   Do you remember your parents telling you when you were bad, "I brought you into this world and I can take you out!" Those were the good ole' days

   Teenage: have time & energy but no money Working age: have money & energy but no time Old age: have time & money but no energy! ~

   If I poke you on Facebook and you poke me back does that mean we just had Facebook sex? & if I poke you and you didn't want to be poked did I just rape your page?

   Im the type of person who enjoys making people: cringe, blush, and shake their head when reading my status!

   For Sale: 1 Heart. Horrible condition. I don't care what you do with it, just rip it out of my chest and take away this pain.

   Romantic films are known to ruin relationships as they give unrealistic expectations to women about what to expect from men. Porn has the same effect on men.

   Some people don't poop, crap just comes out of their mouth 24/7.

   Hey mom?” “WHAT!?” “Nevermind you`re not in a good mood.

   Only a few more days until those “yo, 2012 is about to be my year” status updates..

   Dear Haters, ╭∩╮ º.º ╭∩╮ Sincerely, Me.

   There are a few people I know whose birth certificates should be considered an apology letter to the world!

   Single.. because my ex was such a loser..