Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 94 of 6382
My belly is like jelly. I cut one and it's smelly.
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09-02-2022 21:39
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What has red hair, big shoes and lives in a test tube? Bozo the Clone.
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09-02-2022 09:24
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Corn. The food that both enters and exits intact.
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09-01-2022 14:24
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Ladies, do you prefer a man who may be physically imperfect but loves you unconditionally? Or do you want a guy who's nothing more than a trophy that is perched atop your fireplace?
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09-01-2022 14:23
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I’vr never met a closet EV driver
I’d love to have a s*x change. Preferably from none to absolutely sh*tloads
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08-31-2022 12:49
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Last night a guy told me, "Often, bearers of false light destroy what they profess to enlighten," and I said "Don't get wise with me!"
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08-30-2022 22:16
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Without a doubt, the cashew is my favorite nut that sounds like a sneeze.
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08-29-2022 18:48
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Kids are fun, but I prefer playing with the package they came in.
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08-29-2022 11:32
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If you wear a mask when you're driving alone, there's no need for you to put a Biden sticker on your vehicle. We already know.
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08-28-2022 05:00
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its been a few years that MTV got rid of "Jersey Shore." I guess we'll never know if they learn to walk upright.
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08-28-2022 04:46
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I'm going to spend Labor Day this year putting my liver to work.
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08-28-2022 04:45
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Labor Day started so we all could get unbeatable prices on mattresses.
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08-28-2022 04:44
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In hell, everything you have Googled in your lifetime will scroll across a jumbotron.
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08-28-2022 04:39
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he told me he likes it rough so I crumbled a nature valley bar in the bed
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08-28-2022 04:38
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“That’s herpes” -my response anytime someone asks me to look at their rash.
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08-28-2022 04:38
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I probably should stop talking about how dumb my dog is considering he’s been homeschooled his whole life.
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08-28-2022 04:28
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Saw a man holding a newspaper and a blackberry so time travel is possible you guys!
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08-28-2022 04:28
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If you're ever wondering who your real Facebook friends are. Delete your account and see who calls....
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08-28-2022 01:30
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My wife asked me the other day if I had seen the dog bowl. I replied, I didn’t know he did that.
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08-27-2022 15:36 by Otis
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