Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Texas to plan another White Nationalist rally on 9/11. If this doesn't tell you the people in Texas are f-ed up, then there is no hope for you and should stop being an American all together.
←Rate | 08-14-2017 11:52 by J. Comments (1)  


   messageicon Trump doesn't have time to denounce the #$%$ but does so instantly against a CEO that withdrawals from one of his committees. If you didn't know Trump was a white supremacist before, you do now.
←Rate | 08-14-2017 10:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Parents, your kids are growing up "too" fast, not to fast...
←Rate | 08-14-2017 09:28 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I was grocery shopping today and when I was finished I went to the checkout line. The lady at the register said "Did you find everything you were looking for?" I said "No. I was looking for a $100 bill in the Rice Krispies section I but didn't find one."
←Rate | 08-14-2017 08:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison and drugs are really expensive in prison.
←Rate | 08-14-2017 08:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 70% of Facebook users have a Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Married… LIKE if you love food.
←Rate | 08-14-2017 08:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everybody who hates Donald Trump is going to Hell. -Pope Francis
←Rate | 08-14-2017 07:35 Comments (1)  


   messageicon hey when does special Ed classe begin this fall for you anti-trump bashers?
←Rate | 08-14-2017 05:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your God is totally ok with nuking an entire country but not with 2 guys marrying, you might consider exchanging that God.
←Rate | 08-14-2017 02:50 by Jergim Comments (2)  


   messageicon I'm really tired of every article about a woman having an opinion being accompanied by the most deranged photo of her they can find.
←Rate | 08-14-2017 02:48 by Jergim Comments (0)  


   messageicon (after getting stabbed by a mugger) I blame both sides for this. #trumpLogic
←Rate | 08-14-2017 02:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You might be a trump supporter if you go to a family reunion looking for a wife.
←Rate | 08-13-2017 23:19 by TEX. Comments (0)  


   messageicon This planet is serious messed up. 407,000 Americans died fighting fascism in world war 2. Now Trump is disrespecting those heroes by letting Nazis match across America.
←Rate | 08-13-2017 20:16 Comments (1)  


   messageicon What's better than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
←Rate | 08-13-2017 18:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently calling a pair of conjoined twins "hipsters" is not cool.
←Rate | 08-13-2017 09:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's no way EVERYBODY was kung fu fighting. You know there was at least one guy hiding in a corner thinking "Man, I don't want none of this."
←Rate | 08-12-2017 18:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I the only one who reads my spam email and after reading the subject line of one that says, "we have unclaimed funds got you", mutters, "yeah, sure you do."?
←Rate | 08-12-2017 11:58 by Caleet Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking News: North Korea missile test delayed due to problems with Windows 3.1x
←Rate | 08-12-2017 07:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw the neighbor's kid trying to spray whipped cream on his cat. I'm thinking he overheard something last night in that house he wasn't supposed to.
←Rate | 08-12-2017 07:15 by GlimmerTriplet Comments (0)  


   messageicon I signed up for ancestry.com. I wouldn't be surprised if me results come back as 100% Budweiser.
←Rate | 08-11-2017 22:04 by Cicci Comments (0)  




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