BEGO Funny Status Messages

   I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house.

   Swear I bet you if I was a hot chick and I left a status that said "I'm brushing my hair". It would get about 50 likes.

   OK some Women want to be equal to Men... Send us flowers to work, pick us up for a date, open the car or any door for us, take us out to dinner and a movie flip the bill and leave the tip and you make the first move at the end of the date!!!

   We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.

   Those who drink to drown their sorrows should be taught that sorrows know how to swim.

   Why are pure Vegetarian Women silent during SEX.? Ans: They are in a state of Shock that a piece of Meat can give so much Pleasure.

   If karma doesn't hit you, I swear I will first..

   Some people are like trees, they take forever to grow up.

   Just because I send you to voicemail doesn't mean that I want you to leave me one.

   Sorry about last night texts. My phone was drunk.

   If Its Not on the first Search Page of Google, It doesn't Exist .

   Whenever I have a dream about someone, It's always awkward seeing them the next day.

   Faithful on your wall, but cheating in their FB inbox.

   Advancements in phone technology are making it really difficult for me to make new excuses as to why I am ignoring them.

   I love finding money in my clothes…..its like a gift from me.. to me. 

   A relationship should be between (^__^) & (^__^) NOT (^__^) & (^__^) + (-_(-_(-_-)_-)_-) + FACEBOOK

   Everything seems louder when you're trying not to wake your parents

   In 2013, my first status will be- "Is anyone alive?!

   H.O.E.S = HAPPILY OFFERING EVERYONE SEX.

   Just because I'm giving up , doesn't mean I don't care. It means I'm tired of giving my everything & ending up with nothing.