Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 926 of 6453

Woman cradles and protects child. Man carries and protects both. This is how it ought to be, despite what your gender studies professor says.
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08-30-2017 15:20 by Hillbilly
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Pastor Joel Osteen won't open his Houston ⛪ church that can hold 16,000 for hurricane victims because it only provides shelter from taxes.
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08-30-2017 15:07 by CrackY
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Pyongyang can't party. It has no Seoul.
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08-30-2017 12:04
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With Lynn Yaeger, we dont need a new Pennywise. She will scare you and steal your shoes.
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08-30-2017 12:00
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Who hates the trumps, especially the first lady? Google Lynn Yaeger. WOW I feel sad for her
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08-30-2017 11:58 by Hillbilly
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The internet is blowing up over the first lady's shoes?? Is this what we've come to in America??
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08-30-2017 09:57
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There are days when I just want to hear her voice. Then I remember what a nut job psycho she was...
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08-30-2017 09:32
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God created the world in 6 days but took 9 months to create me, so clearly I’m a big deal.
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08-30-2017 07:56
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I took the Facebook quiz "Which Sex and the City character are you?" Turns out I'm the bus driver who splashes Carrie in the opening credits.
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08-30-2017 07:50
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When I was a kid, my family was so poor that if I hadn't been a boy I wouldn't have had ANYTHING to play with.
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08-30-2017 07:42
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I decided to start calling my bathroom the Jim instead of the John. That way I can tell everyone that the first thing I do every morning is go to the Jim.
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08-30-2017 07:41
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Truth is truth. It does not need to be "balanced" and it isn't caused by voting, consensus, polls or by yelling louder or silencing someone.
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08-30-2017 07:40
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The last time Houston was under this much water her first name was Whitney.

Whenever I pass someone texting and driving, I throw my beer at their window.
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08-30-2017 00:48
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We were so poor when I was a little boy that I had to share my sandbox with our cat.
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08-30-2017 00:08
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Do jews celebrate labor day or do they gotta be different like usual
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08-29-2017 23:42 by Zinc
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CNN money reported that the places trump won, represents 71% of the income tax from middle and lower class. L1bs hate them because they have a work ethic.
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08-29-2017 23:36 by Hillbilly
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The deplorables have been busy breeding right under our noses and now their populations is out of control, thats why Trump won.
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08-29-2017 23:25
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Ray = Zubin Dalal
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08-29-2017 23:24
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One thing's for sure. The residence in Texas now believes in global warming.
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08-29-2017 22:48
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