Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   The internet is blowing up over the first lady's shoes?? Is this what we've come to in America??

   There are days when I just want to hear her voice. Then I remember what a nut job psycho she was...

   God created the world in 6 days but took 9 months to create me, so clearly I’m a big deal.

   I took the Facebook quiz "Which Sex and the City character are you?" Turns out I'm the bus driver who splashes Carrie in the opening credits.

   When I was a kid, my family was so poor that if I hadn't been a boy I wouldn't have had ANYTHING to play with.

   I decided to start calling my bathroom the Jim instead of the John. That way I can tell everyone that the first thing I do every morning is go to the Jim.

   Truth is truth. It does not need to be "balanced" and it isn't caused by voting, consensus, polls or by yelling louder or silencing someone.

   The last time Houston was under this much water her first name was Whitney.

   Whenever I pass someone texting and driving, I throw my beer at their window.

   We were so poor when I was a little boy that I had to share my sandbox with our cat.

   Do jews celebrate labor day or do they gotta be different like usual

   CNN money reported that the places trump won, represents 71% of the income tax from middle and lower class. L1bs hate them because they have a work ethic.

   The deplorables have been busy breeding right under our noses and now their populations is out of control, thats why Trump won.

   Ray = Zubin Dalal

   One thing's for sure. The residence in Texas now believes in global warming.

   Clinton called people deplorable, obama called them clingers, terrorists call them infidel, trump called them americans. And they dont understand why he won.

   in 1964 the wage was 5 silver quarters. Today 5 silver quarters are worth $15.50. We dont need to raise the wage, but to fix our money.

   Socialism works so well, people build boats from trash to escape it.

   Seattle raised the min wage to 15 a hour. Report out this week for the 1st period. Min wage workers now work 12 hours less and make 1500 less a month.

   If trump doesnt go to texas he is heartless, if he does go, he is taking valueable resources. I'm telling you it is a mental disorder.