BEGO Funny Status Messages

   "Single" doesn't always mean available, just as "in a relationship" doesn't always mean happy!

   I can be doing all the right things and life still has a way of slapping me in the face..

   I love "me" so much, my Dr gave me a nice jacket that helps me hug myself!

   If you could see what goes on inside my head, you would have nightmares for weeks!

   if I were sitting in a jail cell right now, why would you think I was there? ;)

   I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!

   Pack of gum, 10 chances to turn an enemy into a friend

   Does a prostitute file pregnancy as a work-related accident?

   Dear radio stations, you do realize there are more than just 5 songs in the world, right?

   GAGA: So famous, even babies know her name .

   Crazy Fact… People born in 1994-1999 have lived in three decades, two centuries, and two millenniums. & they are not even 18 yet.

   I love reading Facebook drama, people go so hard behind that keyboard!

   I don't care if you think I'm crazy. Life is too short to be normal!

   When you know why you like someone, it's a crush. When you have no reason or explanation, it's love.

   The f***ing thing I f***ing like the most in the f***ing english language is that you can f***ing put the f***ing word "f***ing" every f***ing place you f***ing want.

   I hate when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn't follow the script.

   when you see a sign at a restaurant that says 'employees must wash BOTH hands', I think that's when you have to worry...

   I hate when a texting convo goes like this You: heyy. Them: hey! You: watzup? Them: nothin wbu? You: same. Them: cool. You: yea Them: haha. You: lol. Them: yep.

   "Drunk Posting" is worse than "Drunk Texting", because instead of one person thinking you're an idiot, EVERYONE does!

   Dear heart, next time ... Damn THINK!