Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 915 of 6446

   messageicon Sometimes, I just want to give it all up for 4 fried chickens and a Coke.
←Rate | 09-08-2017 17:34 by JolietJakeLanza Comments (2)  


   messageicon Hurricanes ✔️ Fires ✔️ Tiger running loose ✔️ Whoever is playing Jumanji needs to wrap it up
←Rate | 09-08-2017 17:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Upside to hurricanes... you might get a free boat delivered to your front yard.
←Rate | 09-08-2017 17:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can either be an illegal or go to college in the USA but you can't do both
←Rate | 09-08-2017 17:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think Aliens are controlling the climate that's why we have to put an end to DACA
←Rate | 09-08-2017 16:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who knew adulthood would involve so much Advil??
←Rate | 09-08-2017 11:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon From the smell of things, people should be more concerned with underwear change than climate change.
←Rate | 09-08-2017 09:34 by Baby Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body but if you betray me, just remember: I know how to hide a dead body.
←Rate | 09-08-2017 07:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stress balls work really well when you shove them down someone's throat.
←Rate | 09-08-2017 07:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing actually impossible in life is taking a picture for a group of women and having ALL of them like it.
←Rate | 09-08-2017 07:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to a psychic to get my fortune told, but I realized she was a fraud the minute she accepted my check.
←Rate | 09-08-2017 07:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My boss wants me to go to Time Management training today. Yeah, like I'm really going to be able to squeeze that into my already overloaded schedule.
←Rate | 09-08-2017 07:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Florida is going to be covered in stripper glitter and cocaine pretty soon.
←Rate | 09-08-2017 00:11 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon watching football the same way Colin Kaepernick does... sitting on my couch
←Rate | 09-07-2017 21:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you stubbed your toe, it probably was Trump's fault
←Rate | 09-07-2017 20:02 Comments (2)  


   messageicon I really wouldn't be worried about Hurricane Jose, there's no way Trump will let him into the country....
←Rate | 09-07-2017 17:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wife: I'm going to have a baby! What do you hope it is? Husband: April Fools Day?
←Rate | 09-07-2017 11:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sure those pesky Russians are behind these hurricanes!!
←Rate | 09-07-2017 09:26 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Always carry a knife. You never know when cake might happen.
←Rate | 09-06-2017 21:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon As soon as them illegal dreamers is gone, I'm gonna get me one of them technology jobs they stole from me.
←Rate | 09-06-2017 20:17 by Bobby Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left