Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Mama Cass Elliot would have turned 76 today. In fact, if she had shared that sandwich with Karen Carpenter they both might still be alive.
←Rate | 09-19-2017 11:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Go ahead, keep making fun of millennials but you are gonna regret all those karate lessons you bought us
←Rate | 09-19-2017 09:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to make a Millennial laugh: Tell them there was a time when you knew your private information was safe in government hands
←Rate | 09-19-2017 09:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one has more to say than the woman who says she doesn't want to talk about it.
←Rate | 09-19-2017 09:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I were a cannibal I'd only eat vegetarians, just for the irony...
←Rate | 09-18-2017 21:38 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Solution to the health insurance problem. Change the title from Obama care to trump care and trump will want to keep it.
←Rate | 09-18-2017 21:37 by IDTN Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: Jerry Jones wants the NFL to investigate the Denver Broncos for Domestic Violence against the Dallas Cowboys
←Rate | 09-18-2017 21:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just texted my boss "I think my computer's broke Boss replied: "Just give it to the IT guy" Me: "okay *walks outside and tosses my laptop into the sewer* good luck Clown.
←Rate | 09-18-2017 20:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know your life sucks when the therapist doesn't even return your calls.
←Rate | 09-18-2017 18:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Angering someone is one thing, but hurting them changes everything.
←Rate | 09-18-2017 14:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Misogynistic? So if he hit the golfball into a GUY's head, that would have been ok.
←Rate | 09-18-2017 10:44 Comments (1)  


   messageicon The only reason I wear glasses is so I can take them off and rub my eyes when somebody does something stupid.
←Rate | 09-18-2017 07:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The orange man tweets a meme of his golf ball hitting Hilary but cries like a lil spoilt brat when Alec Baldwin parody him on SNL. If you can’t take it, don’t dish it.
←Rate | 09-18-2017 06:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope that people I've hurt can find it in their hearts to forgive me. Those that hurt me, I hope you're aware of yourself rotting away as the earth reclaims your wretched flesh.
←Rate | 09-18-2017 03:21 by RickyG Comments (0)  


   messageicon it safe to take off my eclipse glasses yet?
←Rate | 09-18-2017 03:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey if you guys see a chameleon, it's mine. If you don't, that ones mine too.
←Rate | 09-18-2017 02:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't tell me what to do; you're not my demons.
←Rate | 09-18-2017 01:36 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mitch McConnell and donald trump: The new story book version of the tortoise and the hare.
←Rate | 09-17-2017 20:33 by IDTN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I swear, what is wrong with people? Supporters are burning their MAGA hat's because Trump did the right thing and protected the dreamers? Wow!
←Rate | 09-17-2017 19:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Notice when you call a 1-800 techical support number you get an assistance operator in India? Wonder when a person in India call for technical support if they get an amercian operator.
←Rate | 09-17-2017 15:15 by Jake Comments (2)  




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