Funny Status Messages

   Kim is now offering nukes to the NFL. I said this would get out of hand but no one listened.

   Trump only complained about the NFL only a few times but the news keeps playing it over and over so you think it's all he is talking about.

   Crying about the NFL and not focusing on anything else is suppose to make America great again?

   T Pain is so old now, he changed his name to Knee Pain!

   Not sure who will be performing at the Super Bowl half-time this season but I am already furious about it

   I am wondering if female squirrells only get 80% of the acorns that males get

   Here's a thought. The next time a criminal is told to stop by the police, he should take a knee instead of trying to run away.

   This Halloween, the only Candy I'm interested in swings from a pole and has daddy issues.

   I always close my eyes when I kiss a woman. Experience tells me that if my eyes are open, I get a lot more pepper spray in them.

   If you drive a Tesla and it gets stolen, is it now an Edison?

   NFL = No Fans Left

   I wish people would get upset at NFL players punching their girl friends as much as they do about not standing for the flag.

   When i'm Single,all I see are couples being happy.When i'm Dating someone,all I see are Single,being happy.

   So on "The Bachelor," a guy gets to make out with 20 different hot women and each one of them is convinced that he'd be the perfect husband. And this is a "reality" show?

   I wonder if Trump does all his tweeting while taking a dump on the toilet.

   Which Knee? the left knee? the right knee?...the weenie?

   Sarcasm is the ability to insult stupid people without them realizing it.

   Anthony Weiner gets Hard time. Pun intended!

   Pro athletes are just modern day court jesters who are only here to entertain us.

   Yes I took a knee before the game on Sunday. It took three people and a promise of a chocolate chip cookie to get me back on my feet again.