trump Funny Status Messages

   My buddy was playing a drinking game where he’d take a shot of whiskey every time Trump lies. His funeral is Tuesday.

   Donald Trump announces huge border wall with Canada to prevent Melania from pouncing on Justin Trudeau.

   The news is so fake. Trump University is still active and running stronger than ever.

   Sorry I was so happy about David Koch kicking the bucket. Next time I'll try and be more tactful, like Trump was when McCain died.

   Trump was chosen to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, but he couldn’t go because of bone-spurs.

   Trump is basically King Solomon, but stupid. He can’t think of a solution to the country’s problems, so he just divided it in two.

   So, Trump says he's the second coming of Jesus. Cool, that won't make God angry one bit.

   Denmark says they're going to loan Greenland to Canada just to mess with and piss off Trump.

   Trump has been under investigation for two years. None of his enemies has committed suicide.

   Anyone who thinks Donald Trump represents God has a very low opinion of God.

   Able to lose $250 Million dollars in a single year. It's a bird, no, it's a plane, no, it's Donald Trump!

   A 30 second super bowl ad cost 5 million dollars. Trump said that's crazy, 30 seconds only cost me 130 thousand.

   I miss the days when the worst thing about Trump was just his hair.

   The worlds greatest marionette is Putin. He has Trump as a puppet and I can’t even see the strings.

   Trump being re-elected is as likely as Ken and Barbie doing the wild thing.

   "If you are under investigation by the FBI. you should not be president -Donald Trump 7/14/16

   Forget the wall Trump wants us to pay for. WTF is he doing about Nickleback?

   I'm very curious to see how many people still believe Trump when Trump said that past presidents told him that they wanted to build a wall, when the past four living presidents publicly announced that they never said no such thing to him.

   Trump is an inspiration to me that an unattractive man can get a wife.

   Why is trump pardoning a turkey? Did it murder a journalist?