moon Funny Status Messages

   Shoutout to the guy driving the BMW who gave me the finger after I honked at you. Your cell phone's on top of your car!

   Don't feel bad if no one talks to you on social media sites as all we could do is type.

   Want to know the secret to happiness? Deactivate your Facebook account like people used to take the phone off the hook.

   I don't usually get asked out by women, but when I do it's usually on the first of April.

   Sorry I can never be serous on facebook as it's just a website that shouldn't be taken too seriously. Like seriously.

   Alcohol kills!....But on the bright side of that, if it wasn't for alcohol most of my friend's would have never been born.

   With facebook down I went back to doing those little things we sometimes overlook while it's up, like keeping the dishes from polling up in the sink, folding the laundry on top of the dryer, finishing reading those books I started reading and showering.

   Facebook's down and I am poised at conquering the world!

   I can't get over how intelligent smartphones are getting as mine just filmed a 20-minute documentary about itself all on its own about its life in a pocket.

   "No, I just carry it around to look cool" was my reply after being asked "Do you play?" in regards to the guitar on my back.

   Shout out to all my friends who never post, like or say anything on Facebook, You're my heroes! But if you silent friend's could do me one little favor and like just this one status so I'll know your still out there breathing and actually give a damn wha

   Lets be honest and Like this status if your like me and play with the words you post like a can of Campbell's alphabet soup.

   Okay buddy if you want to sit behind me and honk your horn for waving someone ahead of me at four-way stop sign then I think I'll do the polite thing and wave the next five cars on while I update my current status.

   Did I miss the grammys again! darn that makes like 10 years in a row.

   Whenever I see someone I don't know wearing what look like pajamas in public I always wonder, have they completely given up on life or are they living it to the fullest!?

   Too many of environmentally friendly philosophers in the world and not enough people willing to bend over to pick up a piece of garbage.

   Rain rain go away so I don't waste all my time staring at Facebook all day.

   In the 70s Volkwagen owners use to say "Home is Where The Bus Is...." But owning a old bus nowadays is more like Home Is Wherever the Bus is Broken Down.

   Wish every project I start was as easily finished as in the how to videos.

   Life is like a box of chocolates you never know which one you going to get, if you can't follow directions and just look at the little chart on the back of the box.