friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   This is odd?!?! The hour we lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.

   Women: So glad the weekend is finally here so I can wash the dishes, mop the floors, clean the toilets, dust the furniture and do the laundry! YAYNESS!!!

   Dear liver, the weekend is almost over, hang in there little one. Love you.

   I came out as a lesbian to my best friend a few years ago, this weekend I'm taking her last name because I am marrying her sister. Screw my homophobic ex "BFF".

   May everything you want this weekend be within the reach of the couch.

   Grindr had a worldwide outage this weekend, is it too late to stock up on apocalypse survival supplies?

   The NFL has decided that the Washington Redskins do not have to travel to Dallas next weekend to play the Cowboys due to the fact that we already won the NFC east.

   Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think “look at all these poor people who don’t know Netflix exists.”

   disappointed what had happened on Black Friday! Fully condemned the action

   Let's have a ''Bring Your Gun'' on Black Friday and see the diffrence it makes.

   So you can get up early to go shopping on Black Friday but you can't get up early on Sunday to go to church.

   .... I was watching th news tonite .... I thought I was watching the violent Black Friday shopping mayhem .... turns out it was just the Black Lives Matter protests .... ....

   I saw a video today of people going crazy in Walmart grabbing stuff. I thought it was a black Friday thing. It was just the video of people protesting in Ferguson

   So... how many broken bones and broken nails have ya got on Black Friday? Are you satisfied with your brand new TV that you saved 20 bucks on?

   *walks into the liquor store* What kind of black Friday deals yall got going on?

   I've heard enough of this Black Friday crap. The sooner we realize that all Fridays matter the better off we'll be as a society.

   Black Friday: That day we spend hundreds of dollars on material goods to celebrate the birth of a man who didn't believe in material goods.

   Don't foget to set you scales back 10 pound this weekend!!!

   Everything gets stolen this Friday, because it's Black Friday

   Don't forget to have a thought and a prayer for the poors when you buy your useless stuff this weekend