Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon We used to be afraid people on the internet would find us in real life. Now we're terrified people in real life will find us on the internet.
←Rate | 10-11-2017 08:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Funny how there was no mention of Harvey Weinstein on Kimmy Kimmel last night
←Rate | 10-11-2017 08:20 Comments (4)  


   messageicon United States population: 323.1 million. Trinidad and Tobago population: 1.3 million. And they just eliminated us from the World Cup.
←Rate | 10-11-2017 07:56 by CrackY Comments (1)  


   messageicon The thing that truly makes amusement park rides scary is that you are entrusting your life to a teenager that is earning minimum wage to make sure you are securely fastened into your seat.
←Rate | 10-11-2017 06:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last Halloween night while at a bus stop. I saw a priest, a nun and a prostitute pass buy. Still don't know if they were wearing a costume for Halloween or not.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 23:45 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon You want to force people to stand for the flag? Please tell me more about this FREE country of yours?
←Rate | 10-10-2017 23:21 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Living in a nudist colony, takes all the fun out of Halloween.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 22:54 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid I could climb mountians. Now I have to steady my self to fart.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 22:40 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to save money this Halloween. Place an empty bowl out with a sign. Please only take one piece of candy.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 18:45 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pepsi is now pulling its sponsorship of the Miami Dolphins, after hearing they prefer Coke!
←Rate | 10-10-2017 13:28 by IraSult Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know it's early..but I often forget things, so I've just written my letter to Santa, warning him not to drink the milk at Bill Cosby's place!!
←Rate | 10-10-2017 13:13 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think your wife is crazy now. Wait untill you divorce her.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 08:05 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want to confuse people this Halloween? Wear a Santa Claus suit as your costume.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 07:07 by Jake Comments (2)  


   messageicon My husband said I need a scary costume for Halloween this year, so I'm dressing up as a Positive Pregnancy Test.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 05:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon For Halloween I'm going to wear a t-shrit with the word life on it and hand out lemons.
←Rate | 10-09-2017 22:59 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Didn't know Dolphins do coke. Do they turn their heads upside down?
←Rate | 10-09-2017 21:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yeah, the coach doing cocaine makes the NFL look so innocent huh libtards?
←Rate | 10-09-2017 18:00 by GonTrump Comments (1)  


   messageicon Harvey Weinstein is a woman hating jerk. I hope he never makes another dime again.
←Rate | 10-09-2017 15:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the left truly cared about women, they'd be speaking out against Weinstein....but nothing but crickets!
←Rate | 10-09-2017 15:31 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Teddy Kennedy, Slick Willie, & Harvey Weinstein...all champions for women's rights!
←Rate | 10-09-2017 13:03 Comments (0)  




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