Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 875 of 6446

This Thanksgiving, comedians, especially Alec Baldwin, should give thanks for Trump.
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11-20-2017 17:02
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The way Hollywood actors are these days, Charles Manson may have simply been ahead of his time.
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11-20-2017 15:29
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Donald Trump drinks water the same way squirrels eat nutz.
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11-20-2017 13:34
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If a man puts a vibrator to his ear he’ll hear how he’s not good in bed.

"Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow" sound terrifying.

Crustard: The dried mustard on the cap.
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11-20-2017 12:12
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I bought a new Christmas Tree today. The shop owner said to me, "Are you going to put that up yourself?", "No" I replied, "I was thinking to put it in the Lounge!"
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11-20-2017 05:33
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I’m all about unity between the human race and truly believe it’s time we all wake up and realize that we’re all in this together. But when a “artist” wins an award at the VMA’s and thanks God and Justin Bieber in the same breath... It makes
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11-19-2017 20:43 by Meh!
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Biggest joke of 2017: Blake Shelton named sexiest man alive.
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11-19-2017 18:47
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It's better to be kissed by a fool than be fooled by a kiss
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11-19-2017 16:53 by Jake
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You know it was a rough night when your IPhone doesn't recognize you in the morning.
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11-19-2017 10:13
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If you use the term “butt hurt” a lot, no need for the rainbow sticker. We already know.
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11-18-2017 05:19
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Where were these 22 year old female teachers back when I was in high school?
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11-17-2017 20:37 by 300
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Breaking news! Colin Kaepernick spotted working at a McDonald’s in Northern California!
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11-17-2017 15:07 by DonRafa
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A report says Fred Flintstone forced a 16-year-old girl into having sex with him and Barney Rubble......
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11-17-2017 14:09
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I liked Meatloaf before he got all soft on us and changed his name to Adele.

Welcome to another episode of Am I Dying or Just Really Tired?
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11-17-2017 09:24
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And I care about Charles Manson going to the hospital because?
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11-17-2017 09:13
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Just finished writing a book for new parents called “You Just Made a Big Mistake.”

I bet you Trump pronounces the country 'Niger' with an extra "g" in the middle.
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11-17-2017 07:32
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