santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   This Christmas, let's put misteltoe in our back pockets so all the people who hate us can kiss our ass!

   ..has Claustrophobia. She's afraid of Santa Clause.

   In hindsight...maybe telling the whole family while we were pulling names for christmas grab bag that I was going to be getting into directing porn was not really the ideal time to do so....I did however draw Grandma Gertrude though!!!!

   just hacked into Santa's computer. All corporate executives will be getting coal this year.

   Santa..he's pretty lucky..cuz he knows where all the naughty girls are at..that's why he's so jolly you see?

   hacked into Santa's computer,cleared the naughty list out..and has changed "coal" under Present List to "PS3""Wii" and "iphone".

   Hey guys. Everybody. let's all give Santa a break this year.......Be naughty.

   Christmas shopping for dangerous toys. For kids I don't like.

   "Dear Santa, seeing you cant define naughty, is it possible you could overlook september for me"?

   I didn't get a toy train for xmas like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead. You couldn't see anything, but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by

   Anyone caught singing Christmas carols between now and Thanksgiving will be slapped.

   writing a Christmas list: Shamwow, Snuggie, Flowbee and... a Chia Pet

   says, "Dear Santa, I know it's a little early....but could you DEFINE naughty?" ;o)

   On Dasher, On Dancer, On Prancer, On VISA!!! Christmas shopping time.

   Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

   letting everyone know in advance that I want something shiny that will go from 0 to 120 in 3 seconds for Christmas... and bathroom scales WILL NOT be accepted.

   Keep it up and Santa's going to stick a candy caine where the sun don't shine.3 hours ago clear

   plans on dressing up as Kanye West for Halloween and just before the kids yell "Trick or Treat", jump out of the bushes and yell "Christmas is better".

   santa's overated.

   Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!!