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I need to start eating healthy but first I need to eat all the junk food in the house so its not there to tempt me
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01-10-2018 04:57
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My boss asked me to take an anger management class today. I told him I was angry enough with management as it is
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01-10-2018 04:25
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I still don't understand why Oprah didn't use "Come to Oprah and Winfrey gifts!" as a slogan for her show
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01-10-2018 04:24
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Ladies......If it takes you more than a hour to get ready, you aren't as cute as you think you are
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01-10-2018 04:24
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Apparently these new inkjet cartridges were improved to show that the printer is already out of ink
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01-09-2018 21:06
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"O say can you something something" - Donald Trump singing our National Anthem.
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01-09-2018 20:59
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A lot of people were confused at the grand opening ceremony of our ribbon-repair business
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01-09-2018 20:57 by
markf
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A fun prank for Halloween is to train your dog to sit and growl at the padlocked closet as your guests arrive
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01-09-2018 20:40
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Musical Electric Chairs. For death row inmates. Lets make it fun and televise it. . .
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01-09-2018 19:15 by
JAB
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Donald J. Trump. The "J" stands for genius.
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01-09-2018 18:18 by
Mr.Conservative
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6
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You millenials have it so good --- we could only like 6 songs max and had to carve their names in a rock
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01-09-2018 18:02
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How do dragons blow out candles on their birthday cake?
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01-09-2018 17:58 by
markf
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I bought a screwdriver bit for my electric drill. It's useful for converting ordinary phillips screws into non removable screws.
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01-09-2018 17:33
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If given a choice between getting a tattoo or throwing my money on the ground, whoever is behind me is going to be very happy!
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01-09-2018 13:36
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Be nice to overweight people. They have a lot on their plate.
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01-09-2018 11:21
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I got so drunk I blacked out for two hours, I couldn't snap out of it...Then I realized I’d just put my hoodie on backwards.
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01-09-2018 01:54
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30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he's adopted.
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01-08-2018 17:44
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Inside my house I have a smaller house that keeps food cold and an even smaller house that heats food up...
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01-08-2018 12:35
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It's so cold out... the guy at Super America has a towel on his head.
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01-08-2018 11:45 by
MDS
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0
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Instead of going to Starbucks, I like to make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
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01-08-2018 11:43 by
MDS
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0
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