Baddie Funny Status Messages

   The 4 most popular words after sh!tty sex: “I cheated for this?”

   When a fat person writes, "LMFAO"... I see "Laughing My FAT Ass Off"

   If a girl doesn't squeeze toothpaste from the bottom up, never ask her for a handjob.

   Wearing a bra with tinny boobs is like carrying a wallet with no cash.

   Are you crying? No, my eyes are taking a pi$$

   The uneasy moment when a midget is getting high

   I'm pretty sure country music singers are all just the same guy wearing different hats.

   What kind of children go to heaven? Dead ones.

   My GF's an adult film actress .She's going to be furious when she finds out!

   Angelina Jolie is so malnourished, that Madonna is going to adopt her.

   What is it about waking up that babies find so traumatic?

   Son: Where did I come from daddy? Dad: Your Mother Son: Where did she come from? Dad: THE DEPTHS OF HELL!!!!!

   The extra muscles it takes to smile after losing an Oscar is such a workout it keeps the actors thin for the whole next year!

   You are so ugly...as a kid, pedophiles used to give you candy to get out of the van.

   When a midget smokes weed does he get high? Or medium?

   I hate it when strangers say silly things like, "I don't bite" Yeah, because the first thing I think when I meet someone is "OMG! This b!tch is gonna bite me!"

   Everyone deserves one free kill in life.

   We all know someone who breathes way too damn loud.

   Religion- The longest game of Simon says ever.

   God should have made stupidity painful.