Baddie Funny Status Messages

   Some say I have the body of a 60 year old man, others say I have the body of a 13 year old girl. All I can say is, The police found nothing!

   Photoshop CS6 Beta has just been released, I know all the ugly people just excited.

   Hi remember me? I'm the guy you never bothered to say goodbye to you self-conceited b!tch. .

   Has anyone ever tried to lead Sarah Jessica Parker to water?

   There is going to be no easy way to tell my GF that I'm leaving her. Mainly as she's deaf and I don't know sign language.

   You do look pretty. At night. Behind a wall. With a bag on top of your head. To a Blind Person. If they turned around. Just maybe.

   I can't believe my girlfriend called me a two-timer....That's a lie! I've cheated on her hundreds of times.

   Janitors carry a lot of keys...too bad one of those isn't the Key to Success.

   You're as useless as pants on a hooker.

   When I go in to kiss a girl, I always close my eyes. I've learned from experience that if they're open, pepper spray gets into them.

   While playing football with friends: Fat guy = goalkeeper.

   To all those who said I couldn't make jokes about blind people... watch me.

   When some girls says, "I'm sexy and I know it" it usually means, "She's slutty and she blows it."

   A boomerang is just a frisbee for douchebags with no friends.

   George Clooney could have any woman he wanted. Yet he's out fighting for peace in a third world country... What a moron

   According to Dr.Oz, EVERYTHING is unhealthy to eat,drink, breathe and so on!

   Your mumma's so fat when she goes to McDonalds they ask her what she doesn't want

   Life's like a box of chocolate, it doesn't last very long for fat people.

   Why do fat people say they have to start eating right? They've obviously mastered the art of chewing and swallowing.

   I wonder if fat drug dealers sell diet coke?