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If you lend a friend some money and you never see them again. It probably was worth it.
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3
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02-27-2018 13:56 by
Justathought
Comments (
3
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A safe word, but for when you can’t listen to another boring story.
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1
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02-27-2018 11:50 by
@kisstopher707
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At 40 you can’t really walk it off any more. You’re hurt now.
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2
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02-27-2018 11:48
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My car has an interesting feature, a rotating fuel tank equipped with a sensor. So whichever side of a gas pump I pull up to, my fuel tank is on the other side of the car.
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02-27-2018 07:23
Comments (
2
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It must be awkward when GPS tells gay people to go straight
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02-27-2018 03:26
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0
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i think we due a bad spell of wether
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5
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02-27-2018 03:18
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Dating is cuddling on the sofa. Marriage is sleeping on the sofa.
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02-27-2018 03:09 by
Jake
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0
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If I ever find the idiot who decided that it was a brilliant idea to put un-skipable adverts in the middle of a video.
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02-27-2018 00:49
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0
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I married a nymphomaniac. Now after 5 years of marriage, the nympho is gone. And I'm left with the maniac.
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02-26-2018 23:15 by
Jake
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0
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At my job, I have 500 people under me. I'm a security guard at a cemetery.
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4
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02-26-2018 23:09 by
Jake
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3
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After the doctor left the exam room from my prostate exam. The nurse came in with three words I didn't want to hear. "Who was that?"
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02-26-2018 17:17
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0
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45 minutes on the treadmill is no big deal if you don't turn it on
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02-26-2018 14:46
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0
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Customer service: And how does your name appear on your credit card? "I'd say about 11 pt Arial Bold"
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02-26-2018 14:44
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0
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I may be delusional, but I am facing it realistically
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02-26-2018 14:42
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Mind if I borrow that bikini top? I haven't flossed today.
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02-26-2018 14:42
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1
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Brain? encased in hard skull. Heart and lungs? protected by a thick bony cage. Balls? just hanging there, waiting to be smashed
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02-26-2018 14:39
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Can't talk right now. I am interfering in the local high school student gov't election.
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3
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02-26-2018 14:36
Comments (
3
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Self driving cars are never gonna catch on because of people like this guy who just turned left across 4 lanes of traffic
2
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02-26-2018 14:31
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0
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People tell you to make yourself at home and then get all judgmental when you empty the fridge and fall asleep on the sofa
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02-26-2018 14:24
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Just saw a text "I hate Ben Stein" and now I love him even more
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02-26-2018 14:23
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0
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