Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 824 of 6452

Eating kale as a snack has several benefits, including no one will ever try to steal your snacks
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03-10-2018 09:22
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It is the year 2048. Colleges are offering courses in selfie angles.
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03-10-2018 09:20
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Driving a gray car in the winter is putting a lot of faith in your fellow drivers on the road.
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03-10-2018 09:19
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I am about to order a Code Red and one of my kids is going to be surprised that he is Private Santiago
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03-10-2018 09:18
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OK I get it, two wrongs don't make a right. But what are talking here? 500? 600? I am almost to 600.
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03-10-2018 09:16
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According to this captcha page I am a robot -- what a way to find out. Who knew?
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03-10-2018 09:14
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You know how people duck when they walk under helicopter blades? I don't.
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03-10-2018 09:13
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Chameleon cashiers give the best change
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03-10-2018 09:13
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I remember back when my "car seat" was the back window shelf of my mom's 63 Plymouth Valiant
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03-10-2018 09:11
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I respect you, liquor store shopping cart user.
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03-10-2018 09:11
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From Cuddly to Stabby in 60 seconds. - a memoir
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03-10-2018 09:09
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Be a good person, but don’t waste time proving it.
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03-10-2018 08:09
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The forest was shrinking yet trees kept voting for the AXE because its handle was made of wood and they thought it was one of them.

"Just kidding!" is one of the biggest lies there is......
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03-10-2018 04:27
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You know you've got a problem when every letter of the alphabet triggers a porn bonanza in your address bar
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03-10-2018 04:27
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I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get caught up in one of those "Eat right and exercise" scams
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03-10-2018 04:26
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2 idians running water and falling rocks went hunting in the mountains But only running water returned back to the tribe A scout went looking for falling rocks but never found him And to this day you'll see signs in the mountains watchout for falling rock
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03-10-2018 01:07
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I don't run from my problems.i sit on the couch,play with my phone,and ignore them like all other adults.
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03-09-2018 23:25
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National meatball day. A day in the honor of David Dennison
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03-09-2018 21:51
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No matter what happens in life, NEVER give up on my dreams. That is why I sleep till noon.