love Funny Status Messages

   GUYS: dont you just love it when your girlfriends friends have worse relationships than yours!!!!

   As you Mature, you learn that you cannot make someone love you!.....All you can do is Stalk them and hope they panic and give in!!!

   I just love waking up in the middle of the night, to find I still have hours to sleep before I have to be at work!!!

   First, Love Yourself!..........Everyone Else, get in line!!!

   Anybody that says I'll steal your heart, mind, love etc. you definitely aren't allowed in my house. And you will be frisked for knives.

   Every time I say stop, an epic battle takes place in my head where I decide whether to follow it with "in the name of love" or "hammertime."

   Relationships must be chosen wisely. It's better to be alone than to be in bad company. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason.'Fall in love when you're ready,not when you're

   As I caress your firm roundness with my hands and press my face into your pink flesh your sweet juices run down my face. I love watermelon!!

   tis the month of graduations... and they STILL refuse to take my Star Wars graduation theme idea. Jedi robes instead of gowns, lightsabers... and I would LOVE to attend a Chewbaccalaureate service!

   From now I'm going to on Craigslist to try finding love. Or at least a free mattress with questionable stains to cry myself to sleep on.

   Sometimes, when two people love each other very much, they get married and ruin everything.

   i love updating my status while dri

   Besides falling in love. What other hobbies do you have?

   Dear U.S. Congress and Justice Department. How much body armor for our military troops could have been purchased with the $3 million of taxpayer money wasted on investigating and prosecuting a washed-up old ballplayer? Love, (fill-in your name)

   Let's stop the hate and spread the love. Or STD's, as my doctor says they are 'technically' named.

   She says I am her one and only love, but she has a whole photo album dedicated to Brad Pitt while my single pic on her page is languishing under wall pictures.

   Right all wrongs. Settle everything with love and understanding.

   I love doggie style as much as the next guy, but sometimes she's just too pretty to do from behind.

   I love it when I go see my parents for the first time in a while and after "hello" comes "good thing you came, my printer is broken".

   practicing my "I Love It" look when I get another tie from my kids.