santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   its okay Christmas Tree. My lights don't come on either.

   All I want for Christmas is a stimulus check.

   Don't drink and wrap presents. Also, if anyone gets a remote control for Christmas, I'm going to need that back...

   Mrs. Claus: *opens door* you’ve been in here working on the naughty list all day Santa Claus: *fumbling to close his internet browser* I need PRIVACY please

   I decided to beat Black Friday and start my Christmas shopping early. *Runs Amazon van off the road

   Christmas decorations should come with coupons for couples counseling.

   I have a problem with gingerbread people living in houses made of their flesh, but I promised not to bring it up and ruin Christmas again this year.

   Tryna see how I’m finna split 8$ between 17 people for Christmas 🥴..

   accidentally left edibles for santa and came downstairs to find him trying to watch pink floyd on my toaster

   to the people who put antlers and a red rudolph nose on your car for christmas, you can’t fool me I know that’s a car

   Well it’s that time of the year to go outside and pretend to put up the Christmas lights I never took down from last year.

   The wife: what do you want for Christmas, sky is the limit Me: new boat The wife: lower sky

   How come no one has came up with a skeleton turkey inflatable with a santa hat on so you can put it out october 1st and take it down after Christmas.

   I'm so glad the elections are over and we can put all that stress behind us and move on to being stessed about the holidays.

   CNN & MSNBC reporting this morning that 'Un-named sources claim Covid-19 concocted by Trump in his White House bunker using son Barron's chemistry set he got for Christmas'

   .. To make sure they will arrive on time, I'm mailing my Christmas cards now.

   Does anyone know if Santa will be sending out a progress report?

   I wonder if Santa Clause is going to have to wear a mask this year....

   Oh come on this is ridiculous! It’s July 8th and people are still setting fireworks off. One almost caught our Christmas decorations on fire.

   Now it's to hot out to take the Christmas decorations down.