abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages

   Guys, if you really want her to stop complaining about the toilet seat being up, pee with it down a few times.

   5 out of 6 people enjoy playing Russian Roulette

   No facebook, I wanna know what's on your mind!

   I hate you cheetos . You ruined all my good jeans .

   Kinda feels weird when your computer asks if you'd like to continue unprotected....

   I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be "Nobody" so when I see stupid crap people post, I can "Like" it. And it will say "Nobody Likes This"

   I'll have a coke please . Hhmmm is Pepsi ok ? Hhmm how about no ! Is monopoly money ok ?

   Sometimes I think NASA is making shit up just to see if anyone's listening.

   There should be a 5 second rule when girls start to cry where you can take what you just said back.

   I'm about 0 for 300 in looking for safes behind wall paintings

   Thank you music, for being there when no one else was.

   Dear Tostitos, make your dip jars shorter and wider so your chips can actually fit inside them. Thanks

   If you got attacked by a bunch of homeless people would you be bummed?

   My wife and I have are talking about renewing our vows. Or as I like to call it, getting a double life sentence.

   When the I in "I love you" becomes more important than the "you," the word in the middle just fades away.

   Damn!! My internet is running slower than a turtle with 3 broken legs and a massive head injuty--doesn't it know that I am a FB addict?

   I wish some people could actually see their personality when they look in a mirror.

   Getting 3 inches of snow per hour. My front yard looks like Charlie Sheen's coffee table.

   I just got a text from a wrong number that said "I think my ex is stalking my friends"... so I replied back "No I'm not."

   Nobody's phone is ever off. They're lying.