Eaglet1122 Funny Status Messages

   I am rotating the tire on my unicycle!

   wonders if birds have a national MAYDAY sytem in place when they know their going to crash?!?!

   I think the only people that can use a disposable razor and NOT cut themselves are people that have been to prison!

   Q: What does an elephant use for tampons? A: Sheep

   I just returned a Rug Dr to Lowes. When asked if it worked ok I responded, "Yep got up all the blood and evidence as promised. I would recommend it to anyone"!

   streaming Netflix's through a Blackberry tandem modem. Please don't call. The good part is coming up!!

   Has a theory: If grocery stores just paint the cart returns with handicap blue and build it out of curbing. Then everyone would put their buggies there!

   AD for PAPER DELIVERY PERSON: Must like early mornings, must own beater car/truck with squealing breaks and NO muffler or sound supression what so ever!! Ability to drive with one knee a plus!!

   ‎*disclamer* no animals were harmed in the crafting of this status update. Stunt doubles were substituted and all theories were tested on a closed course.

   I have just finished my thesis: "Pyrotechnics Lead to prosthetics". Keep all your digits safe! Happy 4th!!

   Change is good..especially if you wear diapers!

   Today I made sushi at home for the first time. I subsituted a hotdog for the raw tuna, a bun for the rice, and mustard for the wasabi!

   I want to tell you about my dream last night. I don't understand it. It was Greek to me....Έχετε λάβει η στιγμή να μεταφράσει αυτό το όνειρο; έχετε ανάγκη από βοήθεια.