BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Why are scary movies always in creepy places like jails and hospitals? I want a scary movie in Walmart. CLEAN UP ON AISLE 13. BUT SIR... THERE IS NO AISLE 13. Dramatic music..

   I don't understand how girls could be so in love with a guy one week and the next not even talk to him for no apparent reason

   I swear Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month..

   Studies show that 36% of people rushed to the hospital die on their way. Such a coincidence seeing that 36% of ambulance drivers are women.

   Do you ever wake up and just say "nope" and then roll over and go back to sleep

   If your ex texts you, its probably because they tried to replace you, but failed.

   When girls get mad, they cry to their friends. We go cuss people out on Xbox.

   Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take f*cking notes.

   Drugs don't ruin your career. Drug tests do.

   I think money attracts the females you want, struggle attracts the woman you need..

   Kids today.. I swear they just cant figure shi& out on their own. Its like they need a you tube video to show them how to wipe their As%

   Marriage is hard. Marriage is so hard Nelson Mandela got divorce. He spend 27 years in prison getting tortured and beaten everyday of his life for 27 years. He got out of jail, spent 6 months with his wife, and said. I CANT TAKE THIS SHI%

   What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day? SINGLE

   God made men. But sandwiches weren't going to make themselves. So God made women.

   Explaining to a woman why she's wrong is the most difficult thing in the world.

   We naturally want a girl in our lives. Girls only like ass-holes. Guys become ass-holes to adjust. It's natural. Don't blame us.

   The best friendships are built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, and inappropriateness.

   Pawn Stars Man: Hey can I have change for a dollar? Rick: The best I can do is 25 cents.

   When I end a sentence with "Just Sayin" what I really mean to say is "Fu%k off, I'm right." ...just sayin.

   I was kicked out of the Nintendo thoughts group for my idea about a Wii game for disabled people. Apparently Wii-Tards isn't a great name.