Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 799 of 6383
Cats always have that look on their face like you just asked if they would help you move next weekend
←Rate |
12-22-2017 17:18
Comments (0)
2017 was not a total loss as I successfuly avoided listening to Despacito
←Rate |
12-22-2017 17:15
Comments (0)
When I was a kid the only flavor chapstick we had was medicine.
←Rate |
12-22-2017 17:12
Comments (0)
I wish someone had a beef with me, maybe with BBQ sauce
←Rate |
12-22-2017 17:10
Comments (0)
it safe to take off my Winter Solstice Glasses yet?
←Rate |
12-22-2017 17:06
Comments (0)
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him freeze it in a large block and then carve a swan out of it.
←Rate |
12-22-2017 16:55
Comments (0)
I kinda skeptical that it's really The Last Jedi.
←Rate |
12-22-2017 16:54
Comments (0)
The name "conservative". What are we actually conserving? Food?
←Rate |
12-22-2017 14:00
Comments (0)
So when do we start "winning" so much that we "get sick of winning"?
←Rate |
12-22-2017 13:21
Comments (1)
I started carrying around a gun after an attempted mugging a few years ago. Since then, my mugging attempts have been much more successful.
←Rate |
12-22-2017 09:12
Comments (0)
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "OK, send me your mother.
←Rate |
12-22-2017 09:12 by Erich
Comments (0)
I never judge people by the color of their skin unless they have a spray-on tan.
←Rate |
12-22-2017 09:11
Comments (0)
Ever notice your Christmas stocking has just enough room for chocolates and a bottle of wine. Coincidence? I don't think soooo.
←Rate |
12-22-2017 07:14
Comments (0)
Why was the snowman smilimg? Because he saw the snowblower coming his way.
←Rate |
12-22-2017 04:01
Comments (0)
Algebra is proof that humans create their own problems and then cry.
←Rate |
12-22-2017 02:58
Comments (0)
75% of men kiss their wives good bye when leaving the house. 100% kiss their house good bye when leaving their wives.
←Rate |
12-21-2017 22:44
Comments (0)
Help control the idiot crisis, get your democrat neutered or spayed.
←Rate |
12-21-2017 22:05
Comments (3)
Has Mexico paid for the wall yet?
←Rate |
12-21-2017 19:31
Comments (2)
FOX News, because conservative's balls can't lick themselves.
←Rate |
12-21-2017 19:18
Comments (1)
When your Dr. says "I'll need to Google that"..... it's time to change Doctors
←Rate |
12-21-2017 17:51
Comments (0)