BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Sometimes, we waste too much time to think about someone who doesn't even think about us for a second.

   A few simple tips: 1. Don't promise when you're happy. 2. Don't reply when you're angry. 3. Don't decide when you're sad.

   If you play a Nicki Minaj song and a Snoop song at the same time, you can understand what they're saying

   Girls are like Jedi's, they can lift things without even touching them... if you know what I mean.

   ❒ Taken ❒ Single ✔ Depends on how drunk I am.

   I feel old whenever someone tells me they were born in the 90's.

   Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

   Graduation speech: I would like to thank Wikipedia, and copy/paste. - I'm out bitc$es

   Dear young girls losing their virginity... if you're age is on the clock, you're too young for the coc$.

   A young boy said to his mother, 'How old were you when I was born?' His mother replied, '23.' 'Wow, that's a lot of time we missed spending together.'

   I love finding money in my pockets after a night of drinking. It's like a gift to sober me…from drunk me.

   My relationship with my Ex was very psychological...she's psycho and I'm logical.

   I would switch cell-phone providers if one had an "unsend my drunk text" option.

   One of the hardest things in life is trying to plug in your charger in the dark

   The only people who truly know your story, are the ones that helped you write it.

   That moment when you are so drunk that you swerve to miss a tree but then you realize its just an air freshener hanging in your car.

   I would slap you but that would be animal abuse

   Toilet paper and my iPhone have a lot in common... both are essential when I take a s$it.

   Sometimes you just have to be straight up with people or they will expect you to bend over backwards.

   x² + why +8 [(x + 2y ² = a-z] + 2x ³ + (- 2z = 2. 4) + 10y - 5Z ³= k= 9 TRUST ME, You need this in life.