Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 787 of 6383
Maybe they could add a little pop-up saying "Are you sure? This action cannot be undone" before sending an important message like NUCLEAR MISSILE ALERT YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE
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01-16-2018 20:43 by markf
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If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet ?
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01-16-2018 20:05
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If you think Hawaii's Emergency alert system is bad , you should see their birth certificate system. . .
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01-16-2018 19:45
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Best catch phrase to make fun of: Fake News.
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01-16-2018 17:44
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What a shock! ..Got a letter in the mail that read "If you ever want to see you're wife alive again, leave $50,000 in unmarked bills in the trash can on Chester Blvd". Seriously, does no one know the difference between "your" and "you're" anymore?
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01-16-2018 10:35 by MDS
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And then there was the cannibal who passed his neighbor in the woods.
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01-16-2018 08:27
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My shrink keeps saying that I should really stop talking to inanimate objects. But what does he know? He's a lamp.
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01-16-2018 08:23
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It took years for my wife to get me to put down the toilet seat. In retrospect, I really don't know why I was carrying it around in the first place.
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01-16-2018 08:13
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Today I saw a homeless man holding a sign that said "why live in a 100k home when I can live under a 3 million dollar bridge?" Now thats what I call being BOLD
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01-16-2018 02:59
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People who get offended on Facebook are the same people that take mini golf seriously
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01-16-2018 02:58
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Difference between House and Home : HOUSE is where you fart in headphones mode HOME is where you fart in Dolby surround mode
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01-16-2018 02:58
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All those exercise videos are worthless, I watch them over and over and not even lost a Kg
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01-16-2018 02:58
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Hey kids, try the real Tide challenge. Get off your butt and wash your own clothes and fold them.
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01-16-2018 00:45
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I can't believe I was late for work tomorrow
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01-15-2018 23:03 by Crewz
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Ya know, people use to come to Facebook to air their dirty laundry...Now they're coming here to air themselves eating laundry pods...The irony!!
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01-15-2018 22:11 by Myke
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How do you accidentally send an inbound missile warning to Hawaii by "pressing the wrong button"? I had to click "are you sure", verify my thumbprint and solve an algebra problem just to unsubscribe from the Mr. Belvedere fan club newsletter.
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01-15-2018 19:52
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Search YouTube for Bryan Lewis "I Think My Dog's A Dem0crat."
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01-15-2018 12:12
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Every time I get a headache I imagine it's because someone wants me to get in bed with them.
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01-15-2018 09:19
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If I am not supposed to eat Tide pods then why are they citrus flavored?
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01-15-2018 09:00
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I think Wal-Mart should start a new Express Checkout lane for shoppers with more than 12 teeth
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01-15-2018 08:55
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