Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 767 of 6383
NBA All Star Game: Fergie sang that National Anthem so bad, Collin Kaepernick stood up and told her not to disrespect the Anthem like that.
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02-18-2018 21:46 by JW
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I see house flies in the house...horse flies near horses...so why do I never see dragon flies on episodes of Game of Thrones?
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02-18-2018 19:56 by Eddy
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Scotty, don't beam me up yet. I am taking a dump.
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02-18-2018 03:54
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If running on a treadmill was only way to Recharge our phones, we would be the healthiest people on the planet
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02-17-2018 21:17
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I just saved a$1,375.00 on my Visa card by not going to Disney World .
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02-17-2018 15:37
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Today’s hairstyle at Walmart is called, “And I didn’t brush my teeth either.”
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02-17-2018 14:36
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Did you know that if you light a candle during a full moon and say the name of the person you love three times you will look very stupid doing that.
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02-17-2018 09:14
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When a person gets a dui and kills people we blame the person.. when a person blows up a building we blame that person.. when there is a mass shooting we blame the gun lmao
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02-17-2018 06:59
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Hello dangerous young man! Come and look at our extensive range of military grade, rapid - fire weapons, that can easily eliminate any normal people that question your anti - social and sadistic tendencies!
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02-17-2018 06:06 by Truman
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A reminder on one of my dating profiles says "You should be more popular!" I agree.
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02-16-2018 22:31
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The smog is so bad in my city that in the mornig the birds wake me by coughing in stead chirping.
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02-16-2018 22:31 by Jake
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Be the reason someone smiles today
Being a human cannibal is the only job where you can be fired evey day and still keep your job :)
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02-16-2018 20:54 by Jake
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After a night of passion, I told my new girlfriend that she was the frist one I've ever been with. She smiled and said really? I said yea, the other's were sevens and eights. :)
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02-16-2018 19:35 by Jake
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Don't forget boys and girls: IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING! So the FBI can ignore you and let the shooter go ahead and so his thing.
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02-16-2018 18:51
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The government and a duck have something in common. They both can stick their bills up their (_|_) :)
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02-16-2018 18:08 by Jake
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Another school shooting? Boy, I'm sure glad I didn't go to school with a bunch of white kids....
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02-16-2018 16:41
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Every post since the school shooting: [outrage] [your personal agenda] [hashtag catchy slogan]
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02-16-2018 14:19
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Buys a cheap box of wine and parties like it’s $19.99
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02-16-2018 13:03
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Lets behonest.. Apart from "I love you" and "I miss you" which other jokes do you know? ??
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02-16-2018 12:20
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