BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Before you judge the younger generation remember who raised them.

   Teenagers are people who act like babies if they're not treated like adults.

   The best way to make people remember you? Borrow money from them

   Count your life by smiles, not tears. Count your age by friends, not years.

   Sea levels aren't rising due to global warming. They are rising due to the increase in obesity. The continents are actually sinking…

   With the required pants and how flexible my girlfriend has become, Yoga is a win for both of us.

   Wal-Mart needs to change their slogan to "what has been seen can never be unseen."

   WORD OF ADVICE: The key to a lasting relationship is keeping the fights clean and the sex dirty.

   Pretty sure I could make an entire meal with the crumbs in my keyboard.

   Fat Chicks, if you're going to order a salad with ham, dressing, croutons, and bacon, just order a sandwich.

   My Mom + My Dad - Condom = Greatest Person Ever

   I hate it when I'm trying to kill a spider but then I lose track of it and I become a victim in my own home

   I am sure that in alcohol are female hormones. When I drink I talk too much and dont know how to drive.

   Being in a relationship is not about kissing, dates or showing off. It's about being with the person who makes you happy.

   Accidentally used AOL.com to search for something today. I feel like everyone who works there probably high-fived each other and got really hopeful about the future.

   Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out? ;)

   Facebook should invent a relationship status that says "Only when i'm drunk."

   Ladies, If you would simply make your Facebook profile pic a bikini shot, it would save me a lot of awkward stalking time.

   Everyone has that friend that needs to stop bumming and buy their own pack of cigarettes.

   If your relationship status says, " It's complicated" then you're single!!!!!!