BEGO Funny Status Messages

   If you remember the phrase "Yo Quero Taco Bell", you probably grew up in the 90's.

   Here, let me tell you about a ton of opinionated bull$hit that's not actually news" - Every major news Channe

   I will have my arms get ripped off before making another trip to the car after coming home from the grocery store.

   No matter how many times I've been done wrong, I'll continue to be faithful, honest, and loving; sooner or later someone will appreciate it.

   Cat: Meow … Me: Meow? … Cat: Meow meow … Me: Oh my lord. I speak cat.

   Apologizing does not always mean you are wrong. It just means that you value your relationships more than your ego

   That wrestling match you have with your friend, when they take a bad photo of you and refuse to delete it.

   Everyone has one friend that they secretly hate.

   Sometimes relationships don't work out because of timing, but most of the time it's because someone is an as$hole.

   Jay-Z has vowed to never use the word "bi$ch" again. I guess he has 100 problems now.

   advises all the young people, "Do not grow up; it's a trap!!"

   Time is not wasted, when your wasted all the time" ~Benjamin Franklin (I think.)

   I want to meet the teenage versions of my parents.

   My girlfriend said she gives up and can't see me anymore. I am amazing at hide and go seek.

   My recycling guy knows 2 things about me... I don't recycle very often and I like beer.

   It makes me sad when people say they married their best friend, mainly cuz marriage between a man & beer will never be legal.

   I don't look outside windows at night because I'm scared of seeing a face.

   Do you ever get the feeling your being watched? Because if its bothering you, I'll stop...

   MATH = Mental Abuse To Humans

   Sometimes love is like having one too many drinks....you feel so good that you don't notice you're making a fool of yourself.