Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon DT once said we would get "tired of winning." Well he was half right..... we are tired.
←Rate | 10-04-2018 07:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Japan has built humanoid robots to do construction work. The robots are so human like that they have three reports of sexual harassment.
←Rate | 10-04-2018 05:32 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been busy today and may of missed it. What was DT's dumb statement of the day, today?
←Rate | 10-04-2018 02:26 Comments (1)  


   messageicon The best part of this Presidential Alert is... Hillary got one too!!
←Rate | 10-03-2018 22:59 Comments (2)  


   messageicon You say, "Not my President" but I bet your phone went off.
←Rate | 10-03-2018 21:53 Comments (2)  


   messageicon I would love to incite a fight after a UB40 concert.
←Rate | 10-03-2018 14:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I'm walking down the street and see a car stopped at a red light I like to wave until the person rolls their window down. Then I say, "You know, you can't park here."
←Rate | 10-03-2018 11:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex is like a bowling ball, if your not using all three fingers, you're just cheating your game.
←Rate | 10-03-2018 09:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only Blue Wave anyone is going to see this year is the one that hit the Carolina coast a few weeks ago.
←Rate | 10-03-2018 07:35 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Dictionary the only place where divorce comes before marriage.
←Rate | 10-03-2018 02:45 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon FACT : If someone is playing Xmas music in October, you're legally allowed to kill them and use their corpse as a Halloween decoration.
←Rate | 10-03-2018 02:44 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bachelor is a guy who will never find out how many faults he has.
←Rate | 10-02-2018 21:42 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Consciousness is the nightmare before sleep.
←Rate | 10-02-2018 21:39 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon before you know it, Amazon workers will be making Prime money
←Rate | 10-02-2018 20:18 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good day to be an uneducated Amazon worker!
←Rate | 10-02-2018 18:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A new study says that a lot of people on social media today will believe anything that starts out by saying a new study says.
←Rate | 10-02-2018 16:04 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys, prove you're not a rapist by giving large sums of money to random women!
←Rate | 10-02-2018 15:50 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Truth doesn’t matter when you just vote for your team regardless of their integrity.
←Rate | 10-02-2018 14:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I, put commas, in, weird places, so that you, read my jokes, like, William Shatner!
←Rate | 10-02-2018 02:56 by Truman Comments (1)  


   messageicon Its a little frustrating how my speakerphone literally types everything I say exclamation mark
←Rate | 10-01-2018 17:10 by Moon Comments (0)  




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