santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Found an industrial size combo pack of Mop-N-Glo and Mr. Clean for my wife for Christmas.

   No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.

   U know you mexican when you wrap christmas presents with a knife instead of scissors.lol

   Every year, grandma gets run over by a reindeer. I wonder if this year, if I left some extra cookies, Santa'd aim for my ex instead?

   Dear Santa...Thank You for the response, but telling me to review my web browser history, wasn't what I meant! But, well played Santa...Well played...

   An office Christmas party is not a good time to ask the boss for a raise. Wait until the next day when you have pictures.

   Last minute Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.

   I wanna take a wiffle ball bat into malls during Christmas shopping for those idiots that just stop suddenly in the middle of the walking area. That humming thump noise while I crack it across the back of their heads would bring joy to my holiday season

   If letting him bang me while I wear reindeer antlers and a painted red nose doesn't get him in the Christmas spirit nothing will!

   it's nearing the festive season again and so just a reminder that a doggy is not just for christmas, it's a great position all year round!

   Don't worry about what you eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Worry about what you eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving

   I think the grammatically correct way to describe my current Christmas disposition would have to be "present tense".

   One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

   tried to mail you something cute for christmas but the postoffice took the stamp off my butt and asked me to leave...

   Just once I would like to begin my Christmas shopping before December 24th

   No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.

   Dear Santa, Don't listen to any of my Facebook friends. I have been a perfect angel, I swear.

   just got my Xmas wishlist back from Santa with a little note attached... It said "LMAO! HELL NO!!!!

   starting to think that Santa's just not that into me...

   Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas, Mommy and Daddy are mad. I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas 'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad