SuthernFukr Funny Status Messages

   The word "lulz" hurts my eyes. Please make it stop.

   Having trouble with your iPhone saying “No Service”? Just put your shirt and shoes back on.

   Saying “oh!” like you get it. But you still have no idea.

   I don't understand why people in movies open doors so slowly to be stealthy. Doors only creak when you do that. I mean, try opening your door really quickly. Not a sound.

   The later I get, the drunker it is.

   The best thing about the internet: It's available to everyone. The worst thing about the internet: - It's available to everyone.

   They say you never forget your first love and it's true, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about beer.

   If Morgan Freeman was smart then he would record himself giving his eulogy.

   "Strike while the iron is hot" is pretty violent advice, but I guess if I'm hitting someone with an iron it might as well be hot.

   I think that the term "wife beater" wins the award for most Widely accepted unacceptable phrase.

   I just called bullsh!t but it went straight to voicemail.

   May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.

   Today, I found out that ‘Made in China' stickers are made in Korea. Mind = BLOWN!

   The Lord works in mysterious ways… Just like those road maintenance guys.

   My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update bar as the search bar on my browser.

   Here's a little bit of advice for you.. advi

   Facebook should change the status question from “What's on your mind?” to “What's your problem today?”

   When I say I will NEVER do something, rest assured I'll be doing it within 6 weeks.

   I have finally just accepted all my invitations to connect on LinkedIn. Now I wait. With my pants off.

   Who else puts LOL or LMAO or ROFL knowing good and damn well your sitting there with a straight face.