Cj Funny Status Messages

   If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.

   Make love, not war. Hell, do both, GET MARRIED!

   No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her $hit.

   Beauty is only a light switch away.

   You know you are having a bad day, when the bird singing outside your window is a vulture.

   trying to decide if I has an attitude problem today, or not.

   Used to have a life. Now I have a laptop and Facebook!

   House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.

   If the game doesn't freeze every 6 minutes, then you're not watching FOX.

   1.Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

   When I open my eyes every morning I pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only I suffer!!!

   Clothes are half of what makes a man who he is. Take your favorite super hero, put him in drag, is he still your favorite?

   They say humans evolved from apes but there are some people who make you reconsider.

   He always has the same expression on his face; “only a mother could love.”

   When God closes one door he opens another. I just hope it's not a trap door.

   The international symbol for marriage is a white flag.

   I don't get drunk .. I get AWESOME!!

   Earthquake in Mexico. 50,000 dead. England sending money, France sending food, US sending Replacement Mexicans. Pack your sh!t up, you're going home.

   If Tylenol, duct tape and a band-aid can't fix it...you've got serious problems.

   So put that in your juice box and suck it!